How Dreaming Up Your Year Will Help You Achieve What You Truly Want and So Much More

“The best way to predict the future is to create it” ~ Abraham Lincoln

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In this moment, I feel I am truly living this quote. So many dreams came true these last few years – I’m in a really good state of health, I do what I love, surrounded by people that inspire me, have great relationships with loved ones, and my life is full of learnings and adventures.

But it wasn’t always like that.

I used to hate my Birthdays & New Years – this feeling of getting older, this feeling of scarcity.

My Birthday is on 30th of December, so together with New Years, I put double pressure on myself. At the end of November it usually hit me: “So what. Who am I now? What did I achieve? Is it what I truly wanted?”

I usually felt miserable, that I was working hard, and not where I wanted to be.

It was so annoying to experience this every year, so I decided to change the outcome.

First, I thought, why is this happening? Why am I always unsatisfied with what I achieved in my year? What’s the root cause?

Here were the top reasons why my planning failed:

  • Picking the ‘wrong’ dreams – those that were not truly mine, but someone else’s.
  • I created a to-do list, rather than inspired goals.
    The list was filled what I had to do, but wanted to postpone.
    When I thought about them, my emotions went down,
    I felt like a kid who didn’t want to do their homework.
  • I thought about how exactly it could happen and listed what I need to do,
    instead of setting the end goal.
  • I added a ‘goal’ without believing in it.

I was so disappointed. Shouldn’t it be the opposite – that your plans help you live the life you want?

Wasn’t it one of the habits of highly effective people?

Regardless, I knew planning still helped me achieve many things, so I kept the practice but shifted my approach:

What if you planned your dreams instead of goals? And then made them happen!

Did you see the difference? Dreams not just your goals. What this means:

  • Planning of what you truly want, what connects to your personal values and vision
  • Writing it down, even if it sounds impossible and you don’t yet have a concrete plan
  • But still setting a timeframe in mind, so you can speed up the process
  • Plan with trust that the Universe will help, but ensure you take action from your side 😀

During the past several years, I created and repeated this process for myself which helped evolve the most frustrating times into the most important and inspiring times that year.

It soon turned into a habit of acquiring and achieving dreams, so I didn’t need a specific timeframe. It became just an ongoing process.

 

Here’s examples of dreams I achieved this year:

# Stay healthy mentally and physically – create a daily habit of Yoga- Breathing-Meditation 

I wanted to create a morning routine that would support my health, while boosting creativity, productivity, and personal capacity, no matter where I was and what was around.

Once I decided that – immediately and randomly I got a free membership to a gym with yoga classes included. My friends starting teaching yoga and I joined their classes. I went to several breathing workshops where I had breakthroughs. I learned different types of meditation and energy practices, and created my own options of flow (from 3 min to 1.5 hours). And, most importantly – I stayed committed to it, without seeking perfection.

In addition to that:

# I created a habit of waking up earlier – now it’s 6.30 am – many important things can be done before the day “officially starts”.

# I learned how to build any new habit I wanted  

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# Create an amazing experience for my parents that will inspire them

.. so they will discover ideas of mindfulness, meet interesting people, and be open to new opportunities. I didn’t know how to make it happen and encountered some hurdlers – most popular retreats were quite expensive, the majority were in English, etc.

Coincidentally, my company, Mindvalley, organized Summit in Russia, bringing in the best speakers in Russian–speaking market.

So I brought my parents there. We also took the opportunity to visit the mountains and had a great adventure together.

It turned out to be the best time with my parents, a new stage of our relationship. They became really inspired and gained a lot of knowledge, which I feel is just the beginning.

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Read 24 books/ courses/ conferences – learn everything around relevant topics 

Books – what I can recommend from this year: “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown (Vulnerability), “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl, “The ONE Thing” by Gary Keller with Jay Papasan, “The Code of the Extraordinary Mind” by Vishen Lakhiani, “The New Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz, “Conversation with God” by Neale Donald Walsch, “Woman Code” by Alisa Vitti, “Zero to One” by Peter Thiel, and “Law of Attraction” by Esther Hicks & Jerry Hicks.

I also went through many courses on personal growth (“Uncompromised Life” by Marisa Peer, “Duality” by Jeffrey Allen), professional courses on email marketing, as well as many youtube tutorials on WordPress.

In addition to that:

# I found another way – to listen to books (through audible)

# A habit of geeky learning around the topic that intrigues me – books, TED Talks, courses, documentaries, calls with experts, and putting knowledge into practice.

# I help people live a life they want 

I started to run my blog more actively – I got several thousands of page viewers, conducted 3 corporate and 5 individual sessions.

After receiving positive feedback, validating that I really can help people and that it brings me fulfillment, I decided to do it more often, to not be afraid or think that I’m not ready.

I already feel that next year I will be conducting more dream-boarding activities!

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# Bring my energy to a next level, so I can attract what I want 

I did daily energy practices, but one day I asked myself – how do I measure this goal? How do I know if I achieved this? And then I realized the answer: a) if I want something, can I attract it without any effort b) can I heal someone who needs it.

Then I forgot about that.

But during the next day, I randomly thought about one festival and that I really wanted to attend, but it was last minute and I didn’t have a ticket. Then I met my friend who happened to have a free ticket because she was teaching there.

At that exact event, I helped one girl to heal herself from pain immediately.

 

And more great things happened – these are other items from my list for this year: 

# I attended A-Fest and met 300 like-minded people who live extraordinary lives (held in Greece this year, and was one of the most incredible experiences in my life).

# Surfed 10 days (and it was with a Russian Surfing Champion).

# Europe – visit 5 new countries there (and it was my first solo trip!).

# Be an expert in programmatic marketing.

# Contribute the most I can to my company.

# Be in love with my amazing boyfriend and build a great relationship with him.

# Became fluent in English so I can write in it.

# Embark on new fun activities – diving, back-flip, headstand, wakeboarding.

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In addition to that, I’ve upgraded my environment, did a lot of creative things, and met a lot of great people. This year was a lot about giving and sharing as well.

Another key is that when you start being open and working with the Universe on the level of dreams, feelings, thoughts, imaginations, you’ll find that your intentions attract things that you can’t imagine, predict, or plan. Things just are happening. It’s crazy, random, and beautiful that’s why it’s so exciting.

That’s what happens when you follow your dreams :) 

Dream-Planning is what I call the process that helped me create this habit. I write down things I know will happen for sure, as well as just imaginations without any idea of how it will manifest.

I do it yearly and then a monthly review, but also stay open for anything that can happen without any plan. It’s so much fun to live a life you want!

I strongly want to see more people doing the same, which is why I’m ready to share what has proven to work in my experience.

Here are 5 steps of dream planning process:

1. Reflect and identify your values (or re-evaluate them)

To know where you want to be, it’s important to understand who you are and what’s important to you. It’s not enough to just write down your statement once and that’s it. When you feel you’ve changed, it’s good to revisit your values, especially if you’re in the fast learning and growing phase. Here is why:

  • You are constantly getting rid of old beliefs and adapting new ones
  • Your priorities change according to the stage of your life
  • You learn, go through new experiences, and are influenced by your environment.
    You’re never the same person 
    you were in the past. And it’s a good thing.
    Your core values will be still the same, but others may change.

2. Create your life vision (or re-visit it), it’s more powerful that you think.

The human brain works better and faster towards one goal. When there are many tasks, it gets lost trying to figure out what problem to solve. That’s why uncertainty gives us worries, fears, and sometimes depression. And that’s the reason why clarity is so powerful.

Once you have a clear vision – you have your personal compass for a decision-making process, so it’s easy to say “yes” or “no” to any new opportunity.

Secondly – a vision consists of your dreams that truly make you excited and emotionally engaged. Magic on a metaphysical level starts here – you attract the right people, right projects, right things that happen even without your involvement. Because your dreams and emotions make you connected to a higher power and the laws of the Universe are working for you.

That’s why if you don’t have a vision or you’re not excited enough to wake up every morning to make it happen – then it’s time to change something.

If you have that – great, don’t forget to stay connected to it!

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3. Plan only one next big step (year/ project), not entire life.

It’s like in project management the majority of growth-oriented companies are applying agile thinking – a model where there is a long-term vision with plans for the next features or sprint plans.

Why it’s more useful:

  • Short-term timeframe creates healthy scarcity and mobilization, leaving less room for excuses
    to procrastinate (
    since the deadline is coming)
  • It makes you focus on the most important things, the approach “what if it’s your last year?”
    As Steve Jobs said “Death is very likely the best single invention of life.”
  • Focusing on one thing at the time allows you to operate in your optimal way
  • Easier to measure, and easier to achieve tasks and goals

It gives you a better chance to be present when you’re not overwhelmed with so many things at once

4. Make an Action plan

Plan what matters and excites you the most first. Travelling, learning new things, adventures, experiences, opening new company – this should be planned first. Make a usual to-do list you of what you want to achieve without any extraordinary effort.

Then plan the rest. Write down everything.

It’s important to write down everything, as many studies show people who have their goals written achieve more than those who don’t.

I usually start my planning with values or a “theme of the year” in order to attract even more things that I’m not capable of dreaming up at the moment.

and…

5. Get excited!

Create a vision board and celebrate it – create an emotional attachment to it. You should “feel your dreams” – create associations with movements or some special rituals, do something physical – so your body will remember the feeling. Get excited about every single thing you want to have in your life. Visualize, meditate, dance. Then it becomes even more real and achievable.

Share with others – let them be excited for you as well and join you for some dreams you have in common.

Now it’s a great time to give yourself space to reflect and plan your dreams. Do it and let me know how it goes. I wish all the best to everyone reading this post now!

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P.S. I know that if you don’t have the process it might be challenging to plan your dreams.

That’s why I’ll be sharing my experience and guiding you in this process of planning of the next year together with you.

It’s happening on 17th of December in Kuala Lumpur. 

  • Expected outcome: your dream plan for the next year is created, based on your values, dreams.
    Actionable and achievable.
  • We’ll go through several exercises together
  • Number of spots are limited

Register for “Dreaming Up Your Year” session here >> 

If you’re interested in joining, but you’re not in Kuala-Lumpur, signup here and I’ll make an online session for several of you:



 

How To Practice Vulnerability and Honesty And Live A Meaningful Life

“Don’t show your weaknesses to anyone”

Sound familiar? I grew up in a culture where expressing your emotions and voicing your opinion would not be appreciated:

  • “Show up” – be strong, numb your emotions;
  • Talk about your achievements, your status and always be sure to avoid controversial topics;
  • Follow your traditions, culture or religion;
  • Meet the expectations thrust upon you by people around you;
  • Don’t make your boss mad.

In school you’re a student that should follow your teacher, at home – you’re a kid who needs to listen to your elders.

For society and relatives – you should grow up to be someone on the “right path”.

I hated this culture: wasting time on talks that don’t matter, maintaining relationships that do not provide fulfilment, making choices because it is “good to do it” in the eyes of society.

Hiding things, stressing out if you’re not perfect.

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It’s a culture of shame. A culture of fear that we’re not good enough

Dr. Brene Brown – a research professor, spent the last thirteen years studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness and shame.

(she is my teacher, guiding me on the path to becoming a “wholehearted” person, and I recommend that you study her work).

She found that shame is the most powerful emotion. It stops us from being vulnerable and authentic.

Her research shows that for both women and men, shame feels the same way,
but is triggered differently – there are certain expectations that society dictates, that if you don’t meet, cause you to feel shame.

For women, the main trigger of shame is: “Do it all, do it perfectly and never let anyone see you sweat.”

It’s about looking perfect, having the perfect body and appearance, being perfect in all roles – as a wife, a mother and at work.
Women are supposed to be small and quiet, submissive and agreeable, the desire for sex is seen as shameful.

For men, the number one trigger of shame is being perceived as being weak.

It’s the fear of not being wealthy enough, tough enough or smart enough.
It’s also about emotional control, primacy of work, the pursuit of status, and displays of violence.

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I went through my journey of escaping the trap of shame triggers and being vulnerable.

During University, I felt tired to prepare “speeches” for my parents, thinking twice about what to tell them about my life.

We would talk about exams, but not about social work or friends.
Sharing plans but not dreams.
We would talk about achievements but not learnings.
I was running a show called “Everything is on Track”.

But I wanted to be able to share anything – quitting a job, falling in love, failures, crazy dreams.

For a long time, I was scared of changing my relationship with my parents.
On a very deep level we all want to be loved, supported and appreciated, and being imperfect and not matching expectations is a risk that seems to be unacceptable.
A risk that may involve losing their respect.

But when I opened up, it wasn’t that dramatic. All those societal triggers were just stupid bullshit!

Yes, it was hard for them initially to accept something that they might have preferred not to hear.
It was hard for me to accept that I was not matching my parent’s vision for my life.
However.. people who love you – won’t give up on you.
Our connection completely changed and became really strong.

Since then I started to be authentic. It really changed the way I experience life.

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6 simple steps to vulnerability and honesty

When you’re vulnerable and honest – you don’t hide anything, you have only people around you who accept you, you have only meaningful conversations, you spend energy and time on what matters, you simply live a life that you want.

The contrast is like moving from a cloudy and hazy city to an environment filled with mountains and clear skies and fresh air, enjoying every colour, sound and smell.

It feels as though if you were to die tomorrow – you won’t regret any moment you spent on your well-lived life.

It’s not an easy path, because you need to be ready to hear the truth. To lose some relationships or jobs…. but if you want to have only true connections and meaningful projects – It’s the only way to live.

The good news is that you can build a habit of vulnerability.

Here are 6 steps based on my experience:

  1. Know your values and connect with them daily.
  2. Express emotions.
  3. Observe and notice.
  4. Be kind to yourself.
  5. Empower others.
  6. Move your body.

An explanation of  these steps is in this infographics:

Learn 6 steps to practice vulnerability and honesty and live a meaningful live.

Enjoy! I promise you, it’s an incredible journey.

I changed from being a person who didn’t know how to share my opinions and express my feelings to someone whose friends tell me “I know you’ll tell me the truth”

It’s a fun, colourful and meaningful life!

Thank you to every teacher I have met along my journey. Thank you for giving me feedback, thank you for accepting me. You’re the reason I have become a more wholehearted person

P.S. Photographs by Snaps N Straps Photography

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The Intriguing Element That All Successful People Have in Common

I’ve been lucky enough to meet a lot of truly successful people…

By “successful” I mean people who have really done meaningful things with their lives, people who have met their goals in different areas of their lives as well.

And the most surprising fact – they’re very simple compared to our image of what we think successful people should be like.

It could even be a little disappointing – I expected to hear the story about “the day everything started” or  the day “that they found their talent and everything changed…”

But there is no such story (I’m sorry).

There is no special marker for successful people like a visit from a unicorn or having special blood flow through their veins. The majority of successful people I’ve met did not have absolute confidence in their talents and never really truly considered their life vision or mission.

So, where is the superhero’s fairytale?

There is no fairytale, but there is a story. There is no day that changed everything, but there is a small step… and another one… and many more small steps after.

“Keep walking” – I saw this tattoo on a leg of my friend recently and this is it – this is the special secret of all superheroes and successful people – they just kept going.

Simple, huh?

Simple as well as challenging and powerful.

Keep going…

I experienced the full meaning of this quote while conquering the mountains.

Imagine: Russia (Ural), -33C, 7 am. It’s dark so you can only see one step ahead because the only source of light is from the torch you carry. It’s extremely cold outside, but when you walk you’re sweating, and you can’t stop because you’ll be frozen. And it’s a 16 km hike to reach the top.

“Why do I do it to myself?”, “This is ridiculous, struggling is not the way to enjoy nature”, “It’s too fast for me”, “I need to take a break”, “I’ll just go back before it’s too late” – were my thoughts during the first five kilometers. Around you there is only darkness, so there is no beautiful view to grant your motivation. And it’s so cold outside and so sweaty inside – there is nothing about this situation to derive pleasure from.

But there is one thing that gives you energy – everyone keeps on going.

And so do you.

Then the sunrise breaks, and nature opens it’s beauty to you as you never seen before, then you start to believe that it’s possible to reach the top, and while the final goal matters, you’re starting to enjoy the journey and every breath of it.

Keep going…

Keep going when everyone else has stopped.
Keep going if you don’t know the final destination.
Keep going if the road is unknown.
Keep going if it’s dark and you don’t see the journey.

Keep going if the road is broken.
Keep going if there is no energy.
Keep going if there is no light to brighten your way.
Keep going when no one believes.

Keep going when it seems impossible to achieve.
Keep going if the way has changed.
Keep going if everyone has left.

Keep going if you have hope.
Keep going if it feels right.
Keep going and create your way.
Keep going and the sun will rise.

Keep going and you’ll meet your tribe.
Keep going and follow your faith
Keep going and your soul will grow
Keep going and listen to your voice.

Keep going and the world will go with you.

THE INTRIGUING ELEMENT THAT ALL SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON

THE INTRIGUING ELEMENT THAT ALL SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON

How to Create an Environment to Flourish

90% Of Who You Are – Is Your Environment.

“No, you create your reality from the inside!” – you might say.

True, I believe that everything starts from your thoughts and your internal world, but. If you want to grow a flower, you plant a seed and provide the right conditions: temperature, light, water, air.  If you want to grow yourself, do the same: create an environment that supports your growth, success, and inspires and help you flourish. It’s as important as working on your internal world.

I’m inviting you to evaluate your environment from 1 to 10 and think what do you want to change:

An Environment that helps you flourish

An Environment that helps you flourish

What about you? What will you do today in order to create an environment that helps you flourish?
P.S. This post is inspired by my recent trip – attending A-Fest, staying with Kai and Admir, visiting Lorenze & Yakobo, Vic & Diana, talking to Diletta. Thank you, guys, for inspiration, I’m changing my environment 😉

How to Create Your Life Power Bank

Do you have situations in life where you feel unhappy, or you judge yourself and you feel helpless? How often do you react on people’s anger or on external stress?

I had a lot of situations when I would freak out if something is not happening in a way I planned, I would feel miserable and judge myself because of negative words from other people of if I failed. And guess what – I can get sick because or reaction to external events and processing all emotions from outside.

And I started to question myself: “How can I be healthy and happy no matter what?”

Imagine, if each of us will have a life power-bank and can recharge ourselves anytime. So I decided to create one for myself.

And I started to think what makes human beings in general and me to stay still and happy, I started to explore different practices, analyze my level of health and my mood in correlation with activities I do.

Because I like systematic approach, I have chosen as my system or coordinates levels of existence and different types of energy that human needs for each of them.

There are many theories like that, but combined everything in 5::

  • Physical level (Body and Breath)
  • Intellectual level (Mind)
  • Spiritual level (Soul)
  • Subconscious (Memory)
  • Connection (Ego)

Once I found sources of recharging each type of energy, once I discovered practices and activities, once I built my lifestyle – I feel stable and strong, no matter what happens in life – I have my unlimited life power bank :)

Improving any of these types of energy by itself can change life, seriously!

But you can go further and build habits and lifestyle supporting you – then you’ll have a personal recipe of being resistance and happy and you won’t depend on external factors anymore. The beauty of this power bank – it’s portable, because you carry your lifestyle anywhere, no matter which country or city you’re travelling to.

I’m sharing here my practices that I experienced and that I do on daily basis, only proven information:

Let’s start from physical level:

1. Eat right, sleep well, drink more water.

Have you ever observed your mood and productivity level in dependence on food you eat?

There is a direct correlation between it. You feel the difference of how your car moves depending on petrol quality, right? The same with a way you treat your body.

There are many studies on each product and it’s good to understand what’s your grocery basket should look like.

I have chosen to eat mostly “greens” and “proteins” – veggies, fruits, berries, eggs, chicken, fish because they provide me needed “power”, but don’t take a lot of energy to digest it, the opposite from bread, rice, potato, fried food.

My menu is simple: fruits/smoothie/juice/berries/oats/eggs for breakfast; soup/chicken/chickpeas or fish with veggies for lunch; salad/cereal for dinner (with light dinner next morning you’ll feel yourself younger).

Although I love to taste different national dishes, to have family dinners – but it’s more an exclusion rather than a daily habit.

Another rule I have is to drink 3 liters of water a day – it’s helpful for a skin and general well-being (plain water, not soda or juice). Once I started doing it – I don’t have headaches.

There are also life-hacks on how to stimulate your brain – bullet-proven coffee is a good example of it.

Do measure quality and quantity of your sleep and influential factors?

The quantity is all about the discipline going to bed at the same time, and better – earlier (this is tough for me). Also 15-30 minutes of napping after lunch is good for a health – a quick refreshment.

Quality comes with being relaxed when you are about to sleep, slowing down your mind and body processes (bathing/reading/tea/good blanket) can help, definitely not exercising 1-2 hours before going to sleep.

2. Move, exercise – choose practices that raise not only your muscles but your emotions and limits.

I prefer multifunctional and conceptual sports like yoga, dancing, surfing, climbing, running instead of going to gym.

You learn a new discipline and it’s a new lifestyle, it’s a new concept that expands your brain and limits.

You become part of world-wide community who shares same values with you.

It’s a game with rules, levels and while you’re focusing on the routine you’re strengthening your body.

You also stay in flow and it’s a wonderful feeling that makes people happy – you’re focused, fully in process, no other thoughts disturb you, you live the moment fully and connected to your inner-self.

Emotional fulfillment comes with constant practice when you master your skill and progressing, you overcome new challenges  – and it also develops your character, it became your life experience, learnings on how to achieve your goals no matter what – your brain will store this habit and you can apply it in any sphere of life.

My favourite physical activity is outdoor sport (surfing, snowboarding, hiking, cycling, running) – it’s also spiritual experience – it’s a fun form of meditation for me – because you’re connected to nature in addition to all other benefits like being in flow, exercising – you’re living a beautiful memorable moment.

Team sports in addition to other benefits give you social connection, you learn how to be a good team-player, how to compete. Also you learn how to use different types of emotions in a right moment – sometimes you need to be fast and overexcited, sometimes – calm and focused.

I started loving sport quite late – last years in high school and then in university, when I joined aerobics classes my trainer was asking us: “How can you control and level up your life if you can’t even pull up your body?”.

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3. Breath: in and out.

Breath connects body, mind and soul – and we forget that without breath we can’t live even more than an hour.

I recently added it to my morning routine between yoga and meditation 10-minute breathing – and it’s kick-ass practice! It really helps resist stress, clean-up all morning worries and doubts, refill your body with air and new energy. So you start your day fully alive and excited about upcoming events, you also more still and calm if anything stressful happens.

This habit takes time to implement, but I never knew so simple and powerful tool to stay healthy and live longer.

Now, Intellectual level:

4. Clarity and life vision – it’s the most important step. 

A human brain works better, faster and more productive on one goal in the opposite of when there are many tasks – brain gets lost trying to figure out what problem to solve. That’s why an uncertainty gives us worries, fears and depressions. And that’s the reason why clarity is so powerful.

Once you have a clear goal – it’s easy to say “yes” or “no” to any new opportunity, you have your personal compass for decision-making process.

Secondly – if you have not only plan but a vision that consists of your dreams, that truly makes you excited and emotionally engaged – then magic on a metaphysical level is starting – you attract right people, right projects, right things happen even without your involvement. Because your dreams and emotions make you connected to a higher power and laws of the Univers start working for you.

That’s why if you don’t have a vision or you’re not excited enough to wake up every morning, or you have “to-do” list that you created being logical, but not emotional – then it’s time to change it.

Life vision – it’s sounds like something big and you might think: “I’m not ready for it” or “I don’t believe, it’s just wasting time”. But it’s not hard and there are many tools to create it. You need not more than 2-3 hours for any of exercises that help you in life vision creation. Choose a place where no one will disturb you, clean and free up your mind, don’t limit yourself and list down things that you really want in life – I have several favorite exercises – vision board, future interview, 20-lives-exercise, 3 most important questions.

If creating a vision is simple, following it requires daily actions. Once you have it – make it visual, create a board, or put your list somewhere in your room, so you can see it every day. That’s how you will connect your thoughts with it, you will visualize moments when it will happen, your brain will find solutions how to get there.

Of course, life will make its corrections and changes on the way, will open opportunities that you didn’t see – it’s normal and it’s also important to go with a flow sometimes, listen what is around you. Life is a journey, not a destination, but we all die one day, and as Steve Jobs said “Death is very likely the best single invention of life.

It is Life Change Agent”, if you won’t take responsibility on how to live your life, it will just pass really fast.

So I choose to create my journey instead of just following a flow that society created for me. What about you?

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5. Train your brain.

Our brain has its a main function to keep us safe, and if any stress happens the brain will find a solution in order to bring us back to a safety zone. And it stores our reactions based on the previous experience and keeps this information as different triggers: if eating chocolate brings you joy, when you’ll be stressed your brain will give a solution: go eat chocolate and decrease your stress (just because chocolate triggered as a joy).

Knowing that we can create brain triggers that we want, because experience for brain it’s not only actual actions but also what you’re telling it to yourself on conscious and subconscious state of mind – you can consciously trigger your reactions, you can train your brain – the same way you train your body.Let me give you an example of triggering reaction on crisis: let’s say, a software is down and you’re handling this system and you’re losing new customers every minute it’s down: you can be stressed, angry on all the developers, shout or cry or, instead, you can be excited about the situation – and take it as an opportunity to find new solutions. So the trigger will be “crisis situation => wow, new opportunities” instead of “crisis situation – this is stress, this is so bad, we’re dying”. Positive triggers also help your brian focus on solutions, so you’ll actually convert any bad situation into something interesting.

Here are several attitudes as new reactions and triggers to respond to stressful situations in a positive way:

Gratefulness – just be grateful and excited about any kind of situations – just tell to yourself why you’re grateful for this moment and, surprisingly, solutions will immediately come. It’s proven that gratefulness is one of the most powerful practice, so I recommend to start with practicing it by listing (writing or during your meditation) 10 things that you’re grateful for today – it’s a first step, it’s a daily practice – and if you do it you’ll go to another level of being grateful every single moment.

Acting with love – just do with love everything – eating, hugging, working, listening – and your brain will also trigger so many new things to be happy about.

Being present – a habit of enjoying the moment will actually make you live longer (because you’ll live all 15 minutes of eating this cake, not being distracted by hundred thoughts during 10 of them and only 5 enjoying your food). (the trigger: I’m enjoying the moment => I’m happy). So once your brain will be trained for it – you’ll be much more focused and happy.

Stop criticizing yourself – if something happens talk to yourself the way you’ll talk to your best friend instead of treating as the worst person. Talk to yourself not in a manner “I’m wrong” but “I did it wrong”, so you won’t critisise yourself, but analyze actions you took.

And here are some habits of how to expand your brain capacity:

Make more decisions – it’s also a trick on how to go over annoying doubts in your head, because uncertancy, not having a clear goal – that what bring mess and your brian doesn’t know what to do, that’s how you feel nervious.

Constantly learn new things. Your brain needs to expand itself (remember we’re using only 20% of our capacity), that’s how you will not only grow your potential, but also it activates new areas of your brain, it helps you to look at situations differently, react faster, adapt to new situations. Read more, listen to podcasts on topics that you’re intersted, watch documentaries – free up some time for it, do it together with your family/friends.

Travel more or live in different places – exploring new places, cultures, languages give you another perspective of life, it teaches you to be more tolerant and see more ways on solving one problem, it gives you new ideas. Imagine how many new pictures will be stored in your brain every second.

Eat elephant by pieces – again, your brain needs focus and clarity. Complex issues or situations don’t give clarity, only mess and stress.

6. Do you work with your subconscious mind and memory? 

Sometimes even you have you vision and making effort to achieve it, but some beliefs from childhood and standards that was given you by society, your parents and you teachers stop you.

Most common unlimited beliefs are: “I can’t be my real self or I’ll be judged”; “I can’t ask for what I want lest I get rejected”; “I don’t have enough resources”; “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t have education in order to start something”, “I need to work hard to have enough money”, “I need to be the same as my family and relatives. etc.

You probably even don’t remember some moments, but our long-term memory works in a way that heartful moments will stay for a longer time – probably your first days in a new school and how other kids were judging you, painful words of your auntie, failure in relationship, some hard moment with your loved once…

Especially in childhood then whatever teachers, parents, your school friends, TV advertisement or movies tell us about money, relationship, success, health  – our brain stores it as a true statement. They make us helpless – because we usually don’t even realize that we have them. They are in our deep level of long-term memory, it’s almost in our DNAa, it’s in subconscious mind.

The good news is that you can remove and/or reprogram them.

And it’s a first step if you want to live your dream life.It’s a shortcut, your 20% of 80% of results. It’s like preparing right soil for a gorgeous garden you wanna grow.You’ll ask me how – here are list of my favorite books and practices:- Richard Bach books (“Jonathan Livingston Seagull”, “Illusions”)
– “The Secret book” by Rhonda Byrne
– “Conversation with God” by Neale Donald WalschBut reading books – it will give you ideas, in order to remove/reprogram some belief – you need to practiceIf you read those books – you’ll have an idea and will be able to do first steps, but it’s not enough – you have to practice it, it takes time to be free from something that was in your blood for so many years – or you can work with specialists.

While working in Mindvalley, I started to practice EFT – Tapping – it’s something powerful and what you can do by our own, as well as meditation!My favorite authors – Marisa Peer, Christie Marie Sheldon, Tony Robins, Joe Vitale, Jeffrey Alen. If you have a chance to go to their seminar or go through their program – it will be much more efficient way.

7. Do spiritual practices – it’s easier that you think.

Spiritual practice is not only leaving for a month among monks and meditating the whole day or spending one year in silence – it’s about being connected to yourself, listening to your intuition&soul and being connected to a higher power – you can call it the Universe, God, Cosmic Energy or something else.
It’s quite stupid not to use these sources – you don’t need anything – just “plug-in” – done, another source of energy is there for you.How? I found a lot of ways, these moments usually happens when you’re:
– fully present, you don’t have any distracting thoughts in your mind;
– focused on what you do, you’re in flow;
– grateful for the moment and happily enjoying life.

Here is a list of my spiritual practices: 

– Nature – mountains, sea, forest – when I seat at the top of the mountains, observing beauty of Earth, breathing life – I feel pure happiness, nothing else matters;
– Outdoor activities –  snowboarding, hiking, surfing, cycling, walking… When I surf I feel in flow, my emotions are dancing and I feel connected with each wave that I’m trying to catch;
– Extreme sport and adventures – high-hiking, parasailing, skydiving – all of these activities require letting go all your fears, you rely on the Universe;
– Painting, creating art, crafting – generally creation process requires focus and you usually do it because you like it, you also trying to listen to your soul while creating;
– Listening to your intuition – when any doubt on any decision trying to shut up voices and listen to true yourself;
– Energy healing practices. Simply “energy ball” exercise or meditation – you don’t need any environment or equipment for it – no need to be at the forest or go to the mountain – it’s just 5-20-minute daily practice – and whatever you can make a daily habit – gives you stronger impact. I implemented it to my morning & evening routines and it completely changed the way I live. I can definitely recommend Jeffrey Alen or Marisa Peer programs for it.

Once you’ll start doing spiritual practices, whatever it is for you – you’ll be surprised that things are going smoothly, you get things you want, your thoughts easily become reality, magic is around and the Universe is there for you :)

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8. The connection is a top factor for a fulfilling long life according to a biggest Harvard’s study. 

Harvard researchers studied people for 75(!) years and found that one major thing makes people happy – connection with others. And connection means not a quantity of people you know, but the quality of relationship with your close ones.First of all – choose wisely people with whom you want to be, don’t waste time on people who don’t excite you or don’t value you. But if you find ones you want to be with – make an effort and make sure you build a connection with them.

Your family, life-partners and friends – make sure that you are involved in their lives, make sure it’s not only one roof that you’re sharing with your family but also feelings – it’s easy – you can start with simple things like asking open questions during your dinner or call: “What are you grateful for today?”, “What did you learn today?”, “Is there something that bothering you?”, “How are you feeling”…

Remind them that you love them – not once an year, but evey day. Spend more quality time together where you can know each other more, do some team activities, or simply talk.

Your coworkers – sometimes we talk only business with our project partners, but we probably miss a chance to spend working days with friends instead, if you’ll turn your business partners into your friends. How often do you invite your colleagues for lunch, how curious you’re about them? Don’t wait when you’ll be invited – act first. (Or if you don’t feel any interest in your coworkers – you might be in a wrong field or company and it’s time to change it).

Volunteering and being part of communities based on mission or interest – it’s how you can find people with same values and understanding of life. I found most of my closest friends by doing social projects together. And it’s not only that – by volunteering you’re connected with something bigger than you – with your mission and idea. It’s a powerful and higher level of connection.

Give. By giving you’re separating your true self from your ego and being true self. Give by helping people around you – just one act of kindness a day, give by working on something that impacts the society, put your emotions to anything you do. I see it as the only way to live a fulfilled life.

Final part: ou might ask: “How to implement all of these practices – too many things?” 

The answer is  – start simple. Choose one habit at the time. You don’t need to do all in once, it doesn’t work this way – just choose one for the next months and do one simple action every day, in other words, instead of committing to do yoga during 60 days for 60 min in a fancy yoga-center, promise yourself to just do yoga every day during 60 days, some day you’ll do it for 60 min, other days – 5 min and that’s ok. I usually pick only 2 habits at the time, one that

requiresome physical (food, yoga), second something for the mind (like gratitude, etc.)

Here are simple steps on how to create a habit:

– simplify your practice into 1 single action that you can do every day, do it during 30-60 days (yoga 5-20 min a day)

plan specific time for your practice

– do it first, start your day with it (you’ll be so proud of yourself, it will bring your day up, also you’ll have less “opportunities” for excuses before your busyness has started).

make a ritual out of it and prepare all needed equipment in advance (put yoga mat near your bed, download online yoga course, charge your laptop, then the only thing you would need to do in the morning is to pull yourself to the mat)

– plan a reward, once you accomplish your goal but delay celebration until it’s done (no excuses – just repeat your ritual during 30-60 days, then celebrate and get something great for yourself. Why delay it – because you have to accomplish it fully, there is no way to jump over the precipice by 99%, right?)

be accountable to someone, even better – publicly announce your commitment – other people will support you, you’ll inspire others and will be inspired back, plus you can’t screw up when you do something public :)

– be conscious on how your practice benefits you – that’s how you create a new trigger in your mind: after you finish your yoga practice – enjoy the feeling, think about benefits that your body gets: that every day you look better, your organs become healthier, etc. Your brain will store this information as a sequence: action => reaction and if you’ll trigger your practice as a joy – your mind will push you to do it. (like your mind triggered that chocolate brings you joy, you can trigger that your good habits are also bring you joy and brain will remember it) .

Try new things, observe your reaction and keep in your life practices that are truly your sources of energy.

Nature it or running, spending time with your loved one or reading. Or you need many of them? Probably you’re happy to work 10 hours a day because you have fulfillment and joy at work? Probably cooking dinner for your family is the best event of the day? Whatever it is – if it makes you happy in a long-term way (there are many simple ways to feel short-term joy), make a daily habit out of it.  If only you’re ok with the concept of retirement and waiting to be done with job and then start

If you don’t want to wait until “you’ll leave this job”, or “when you’ll earn more”, or – don’t say you’re one of these people – your retirement. Life is here and now. And you can make it beautiful, joyful and be happy every day.

Just make your choice right now.

Thanks for your attention,

with love,

Alsu.

 

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