Do you have situations in life where you feel unhappy, or you judge yourself and you feel helpless? How often do you react on people’s anger or on external stress?
I had a lot of situations when I would freak out if something is not happening in a way I planned, I would feel miserable and judge myself because of negative words from other people of if I failed. And guess what – I can get sick because or reaction to external events and processing all emotions from outside.
And I started to question myself: “How can I be healthy and happy no matter what?”
Imagine, if each of us will have a life power-bank and can recharge ourselves anytime. So I decided to create one for myself.
And I started to think what makes human beings in general and me to stay still and happy, I started to explore different practices, analyze my level of health and my mood in correlation with activities I do.
Because I like systematic approach, I have chosen as my system or coordinates levels of existence and different types of energy that human needs for each of them.
There are many theories like that, but combined everything in 5::
- Physical level (Body and Breath)
- Intellectual level (Mind)
- Spiritual level (Soul)
- Subconscious (Memory)
- Connection (Ego)
Once I found sources of recharging each type of energy, once I discovered practices and activities, once I built my lifestyle – I feel stable and strong, no matter what happens in life – I have my unlimited life power bank
But you can go further and build habits and lifestyle supporting you – then you’ll have a personal recipe of being resistance and happy and you won’t depend on external factors anymore. The beauty of this power bank – it’s portable, because you carry your lifestyle anywhere, no matter which country or city you’re travelling to.
I’m sharing here my practices that I experienced and that I do on daily basis, only proven information:
Let’s start from physical level:
1. Eat right, sleep well, drink more water.
Have you ever observed your mood and productivity level in dependence on food you eat?
There is a direct correlation between it. You feel the difference of how your car moves depending on petrol quality, right? The same with a way you treat your body.
There are many studies on each product and it’s good to understand what’s your grocery basket should look like.
I have chosen to eat mostly “greens” and “proteins” – veggies, fruits, berries, eggs, chicken, fish because they provide me needed “power”, but don’t take a lot of energy to digest it, the opposite from bread, rice, potato, fried food.
My menu is simple: fruits/smoothie/juice/berries/oats/eggs for breakfast; soup/chicken/chickpeas or fish with veggies for lunch; salad/cereal for dinner (with light dinner next morning you’ll feel yourself younger).
Although I love to taste different national dishes, to have family dinners – but it’s more an exclusion rather than a daily habit.
Another rule I have is to drink 3 liters of water a day – it’s helpful for a skin and general well-being (plain water, not soda or juice). Once I started doing it – I don’t have headaches.
There are also life-hacks on how to stimulate your brain – bullet-proven coffee is a good example of it.
Do measure quality and quantity of your sleep and influential factors?
The quantity is all about the discipline going to bed at the same time, and better – earlier (this is tough for me). Also 15-30 minutes of napping after lunch is good for a health – a quick refreshment.
Quality comes with being relaxed when you are about to sleep, slowing down your mind and body processes (bathing/reading/tea/good blanket) can help, definitely not exercising 1-2 hours before going to sleep.
2. Move, exercise – choose practices that raise not only your muscles but your emotions and limits.
I prefer multifunctional and conceptual sports like yoga, dancing, surfing, climbing, running instead of going to gym.
You learn a new discipline and it’s a new lifestyle, it’s a new concept that expands your brain and limits.
You become part of world-wide community who shares same values with you.
It’s a game with rules, levels and while you’re focusing on the routine you’re strengthening your body.
You also stay in flow and it’s a wonderful feeling that makes people happy – you’re focused, fully in process, no other thoughts disturb you, you live the moment fully and connected to your inner-self.
Emotional fulfillment comes with constant practice when you master your skill and progressing, you overcome new challenges – and it also develops your character, it became your life experience, learnings on how to achieve your goals no matter what – your brain will store this habit and you can apply it in any sphere of life.
My favourite physical activity is outdoor sport (surfing, snowboarding, hiking, cycling, running) – it’s also spiritual experience – it’s a fun form of meditation for me – because you’re connected to nature in addition to all other benefits like being in flow, exercising – you’re living a beautiful memorable moment.
Team sports in addition to other benefits give you social connection, you learn how to be a good team-player, how to compete. Also you learn how to use different types of emotions in a right moment – sometimes you need to be fast and overexcited, sometimes – calm and focused.
I started loving sport quite late – last years in high school and then in university, when I joined aerobics classes my trainer was asking us: “How can you control and level up your life if you can’t even pull up your body?”.
3. Breath: in and out.
Breath connects body, mind and soul – and we forget that without breath we can’t live even more than an hour.
I recently added it to my morning routine between yoga and meditation 10-minute breathing – and it’s kick-ass practice! It really helps resist stress, clean-up all morning worries and doubts, refill your body with air and new energy. So you start your day fully alive and excited about upcoming events, you also more still and calm if anything stressful happens.
This habit takes time to implement, but I never knew so simple and powerful tool to stay healthy and live longer.
Now, Intellectual level:
4. Clarity and life vision – it’s the most important step.
A human brain works better, faster and more productive on one goal in the opposite of when there are many tasks – brain gets lost trying to figure out what problem to solve. That’s why an uncertainty gives us worries, fears and depressions. And that’s the reason why clarity is so powerful.
Once you have a clear goal – it’s easy to say “yes” or “no” to any new opportunity, you have your personal compass for decision-making process.
Secondly – if you have not only plan but a vision that consists of your dreams, that truly makes you excited and emotionally engaged – then magic on a metaphysical level is starting – you attract right people, right projects, right things happen even without your involvement. Because your dreams and emotions make you connected to a higher power and laws of the Univers start working for you.
That’s why if you don’t have a vision or you’re not excited enough to wake up every morning, or you have “to-do” list that you created being logical, but not emotional – then it’s time to change it.
Life vision – it’s sounds like something big and you might think: “I’m not ready for it” or “I don’t believe, it’s just wasting time”. But it’s not hard and there are many tools to create it. You need not more than 2-3 hours for any of exercises that help you in life vision creation. Choose a place where no one will disturb you, clean and free up your mind, don’t limit yourself and list down things that you really want in life – I have several favorite exercises – vision board, future interview, 20-lives-exercise, 3 most important questions.
If creating a vision is simple, following it requires daily actions. Once you have it – make it visual, create a board, or put your list somewhere in your room, so you can see it every day. That’s how you will connect your thoughts with it, you will visualize moments when it will happen, your brain will find solutions how to get there.
Of course, life will make its corrections and changes on the way, will open opportunities that you didn’t see – it’s normal and it’s also important to go with a flow sometimes, listen what is around you. Life is a journey, not a destination, but we all die one day, and as Steve Jobs said “Death is very likely the best single invention of life.
It is Life Change Agent”, if you won’t take responsibility on how to live your life, it will just pass really fast.
So I choose to create my journey instead of just following a flow that society created for me. What about you?
5. Train your brain.
Our brain has its a main function to keep us safe, and if any stress happens the brain will find a solution in order to bring us back to a safety zone. And it stores our reactions based on the previous experience and keeps this information as different triggers: if eating chocolate brings you joy, when you’ll be stressed your brain will give a solution: go eat chocolate and decrease your stress (just because chocolate triggered as a joy).
Knowing that we can create brain triggers that we want, because experience for brain it’s not only actual actions but also what you’re telling it to yourself on conscious and subconscious state of mind – you can consciously trigger your reactions, you can train your brain – the same way you train your body.Let me give you an example of triggering reaction on crisis: let’s say, a software is down and you’re handling this system and you’re losing new customers every minute it’s down: you can be stressed, angry on all the developers, shout or cry or, instead, you can be excited about the situation – and take it as an opportunity to find new solutions. So the trigger will be “crisis situation => wow, new opportunities” instead of “crisis situation – this is stress, this is so bad, we’re dying”. Positive triggers also help your brian focus on solutions, so you’ll actually convert any bad situation into something interesting.
Here are several attitudes as new reactions and triggers to respond to stressful situations in a positive way:
Gratefulness – just be grateful and excited about any kind of situations – just tell to yourself why you’re grateful for this moment and, surprisingly, solutions will immediately come. It’s proven that gratefulness is one of the most powerful practice, so I recommend to start with practicing it by listing (writing or during your meditation) 10 things that you’re grateful for today – it’s a first step, it’s a daily practice – and if you do it you’ll go to another level of being grateful every single moment.
Acting with love – just do with love everything – eating, hugging, working, listening – and your brain will also trigger so many new things to be happy about.
Being present – a habit of enjoying the moment will actually make you live longer (because you’ll live all 15 minutes of eating this cake, not being distracted by hundred thoughts during 10 of them and only 5 enjoying your food). (the trigger: I’m enjoying the moment => I’m happy). So once your brain will be trained for it – you’ll be much more focused and happy.
Stop criticizing yourself – if something happens talk to yourself the way you’ll talk to your best friend instead of treating as the worst person. Talk to yourself not in a manner “I’m wrong” but “I did it wrong”, so you won’t critisise yourself, but analyze actions you took.
And here are some habits of how to expand your brain capacity:
Make more decisions – it’s also a trick on how to go over annoying doubts in your head, because uncertancy, not having a clear goal – that what bring mess and your brian doesn’t know what to do, that’s how you feel nervious.
Constantly learn new things. Your brain needs to expand itself (remember we’re using only 20% of our capacity), that’s how you will not only grow your potential, but also it activates new areas of your brain, it helps you to look at situations differently, react faster, adapt to new situations. Read more, listen to podcasts on topics that you’re intersted, watch documentaries – free up some time for it, do it together with your family/friends.
Travel more or live in different places – exploring new places, cultures, languages give you another perspective of life, it teaches you to be more tolerant and see more ways on solving one problem, it gives you new ideas. Imagine how many new pictures will be stored in your brain every second.
Eat elephant by pieces – again, your brain needs focus and clarity. Complex issues or situations don’t give clarity, only mess and stress.
6. Do you work with your subconscious mind and memory?
Sometimes even you have you vision and making effort to achieve it, but some beliefs from childhood and standards that was given you by society, your parents and you teachers stop you.
Most common unlimited beliefs are: “I can’t be my real self or I’ll be judged”; “I can’t ask for what I want lest I get rejected”; “I don’t have enough resources”; “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t have education in order to start something”, “I need to work hard to have enough money”, “I need to be the same as my family and relatives. etc.
You probably even don’t remember some moments, but our long-term memory works in a way that heartful moments will stay for a longer time – probably your first days in a new school and how other kids were judging you, painful words of your auntie, failure in relationship, some hard moment with your loved once…
Especially in childhood then whatever teachers, parents, your school friends, TV advertisement or movies tell us about money, relationship, success, health – our brain stores it as a true statement. They make us helpless – because we usually don’t even realize that we have them. They are in our deep level of long-term memory, it’s almost in our DNAa, it’s in subconscious mind.
The good news is that you can remove and/or reprogram them.
And it’s a first step if you want to live your dream life.It’s a shortcut, your 20% of 80% of results. It’s like preparing right soil for a gorgeous garden you wanna grow.You’ll ask me how – here are list of my favorite books and practices:- Richard Bach books (“Jonathan Livingston Seagull”, “Illusions”)
– “The Secret book” by Rhonda Byrne
– “Conversation with God” by Neale Donald WalschBut reading books – it will give you ideas, in order to remove/reprogram some belief – you need to practiceIf you read those books – you’ll have an idea and will be able to do first steps, but it’s not enough – you have to practice it, it takes time to be free from something that was in your blood for so many years – or you can work with specialists.
While working in Mindvalley, I started to practice EFT – Tapping – it’s something powerful and what you can do by our own, as well as meditation!My favorite authors – Marisa Peer, Christie Marie Sheldon, Tony Robins, Joe Vitale, Jeffrey Alen. If you have a chance to go to their seminar or go through their program – it will be much more efficient way.
7. Do spiritual practices – it’s easier that you think.
Spiritual practice is not only leaving for a month among monks and meditating the whole day or spending one year in silence – it’s about being connected to yourself, listening to your intuition&soul and being connected to a higher power – you can call it the Universe, God, Cosmic Energy or something else.
It’s quite stupid not to use these sources – you don’t need anything – just “plug-in” – done, another source of energy is there for you.How? I found a lot of ways, these moments usually happens when you’re:
– fully present, you don’t have any distracting thoughts in your mind;
– focused on what you do, you’re in flow;
– grateful for the moment and happily enjoying life.
Here is a list of my spiritual practices:
– Nature – mountains, sea, forest – when I seat at the top of the mountains, observing beauty of Earth, breathing life – I feel pure happiness, nothing else matters;
– Outdoor activities – snowboarding, hiking, surfing, cycling, walking… When I surf I feel in flow, my emotions are dancing and I feel connected with each wave that I’m trying to catch;
– Extreme sport and adventures – high-hiking, parasailing, skydiving – all of these activities require letting go all your fears, you rely on the Universe;
– Painting, creating art, crafting – generally creation process requires focus and you usually do it because you like it, you also trying to listen to your soul while creating;
– Listening to your intuition – when any doubt on any decision trying to shut up voices and listen to true yourself;
– Energy healing practices. Simply “energy ball” exercise or meditation – you don’t need any environment or equipment for it – no need to be at the forest or go to the mountain – it’s just 5-20-minute daily practice – and whatever you can make a daily habit – gives you stronger impact. I implemented it to my morning & evening routines and it completely changed the way I live. I can definitely recommend Jeffrey Alen or Marisa Peer programs for it.
Once you’ll start doing spiritual practices, whatever it is for you – you’ll be surprised that things are going smoothly, you get things you want, your thoughts easily become reality, magic is around and the Universe is there for you
8. The connection is a top factor for a fulfilling long life according to a biggest Harvard’s study.
Harvard researchers studied people for 75(!) years and found that one major thing makes people happy – connection with others. And connection means not a quantity of people you know, but the quality of relationship with your close ones.First of all – choose wisely people with whom you want to be, don’t waste time on people who don’t excite you or don’t value you. But if you find ones you want to be with – make an effort and make sure you build a connection with them.
Your family, life-partners and friends – make sure that you are involved in their lives, make sure it’s not only one roof that you’re sharing with your family but also feelings – it’s easy – you can start with simple things like asking open questions during your dinner or call: “What are you grateful for today?”, “What did you learn today?”, “Is there something that bothering you?”, “How are you feeling”…
Remind them that you love them – not once an year, but evey day. Spend more quality time together where you can know each other more, do some team activities, or simply talk.
Your coworkers – sometimes we talk only business with our project partners, but we probably miss a chance to spend working days with friends instead, if you’ll turn your business partners into your friends. How often do you invite your colleagues for lunch, how curious you’re about them? Don’t wait when you’ll be invited – act first. (Or if you don’t feel any interest in your coworkers – you might be in a wrong field or company and it’s time to change it).
Volunteering and being part of communities based on mission or interest – it’s how you can find people with same values and understanding of life. I found most of my closest friends by doing social projects together. And it’s not only that – by volunteering you’re connected with something bigger than you – with your mission and idea. It’s a powerful and higher level of connection.
Give. By giving you’re separating your true self from your ego and being true self. Give by helping people around you – just one act of kindness a day, give by working on something that impacts the society, put your emotions to anything you do. I see it as the only way to live a fulfilled life.
Final part: ou might ask: “How to implement all of these practices – too many things?”
The answer is – start simple. Choose one habit at the time. You don’t need to do all in once, it doesn’t work this way – just choose one for the next months and do one simple action every day, in other words, instead of committing to do yoga during 60 days for 60 min in a fancy yoga-center, promise yourself to just do yoga every day during 60 days, some day you’ll do it for 60 min, other days – 5 min and that’s ok. I usually pick only 2 habits at the time, one that
requiresome physical (food, yoga), second something for the mind (like gratitude, etc.)
Here are simple steps on how to create a habit:
– simplify your practice into 1 single action that you can do every day, do it during 30-60 days (yoga 5-20 min a day)
– plan specific time for your practice
– do it first, start your day with it (you’ll be so proud of yourself, it will bring your day up, also you’ll have less “opportunities” for excuses before your busyness has started).
– make a ritual out of it and prepare all needed equipment in advance (put yoga mat near your bed, download online yoga course, charge your laptop, then the only thing you would need to do in the morning is to pull yourself to the mat)
– plan a reward, once you accomplish your goal but delay celebration until it’s done (no excuses – just repeat your ritual during 30-60 days, then celebrate and get something great for yourself. Why delay it – because you have to accomplish it fully, there is no way to jump over the precipice by 99%, right?)
– be accountable to someone, even better – publicly announce your commitment – other people will support you, you’ll inspire others and will be inspired back, plus you can’t screw up when you do something public
– be conscious on how your practice benefits you – that’s how you create a new trigger in your mind: after you finish your yoga practice – enjoy the feeling, think about benefits that your body gets: that every day you look better, your organs become healthier, etc. Your brain will store this information as a sequence: action => reaction and if you’ll trigger your practice as a joy – your mind will push you to do it. (like your mind triggered that chocolate brings you joy, you can trigger that your good habits are also bring you joy and brain will remember it) .
Try new things, observe your reaction and keep in your life practices that are truly your sources of energy.
Nature it or running, spending time with your loved one or reading. Or you need many of them? Probably you’re happy to work 10 hours a day because you have fulfillment and joy at work? Probably cooking dinner for your family is the best event of the day? Whatever it is – if it makes you happy in a long-term way (there are many simple ways to feel short-term joy), make a daily habit out of it. If only you’re ok with the concept of retirement and waiting to be done with job and then start
If you don’t want to wait until “you’ll leave this job”, or “when you’ll earn more”, or – don’t say you’re one of these people – your retirement. Life is here and now. And you can make it beautiful, joyful and be happy every day.
Just make your choice right now.
Thanks for your attention,